Infertility for many years has been a taboo subject that many were ashamed of or simply didn’t want to talk about. Of course it is a very intimate matter, and I accept that. But thankfully we see more and more articles and stories about women who either donated eggs or undergone the fertility procedures in order to conceive a child. We really should share these stories to assure women, that it is nothing to be ashamed of and that infertility is a very common problem.
The feeling of failure
I read so many happy stories about successful IVF, when the long awaited child has finally been conceived and born. It’s very reassuring to know that this method helped so many couples to become parents. However there is another side to IVF procedures, the painful side…Of course when we invest so much time, money, health and energy to go through the whole IVF process, when we put our heart and should to it, we hope for those two stripes on there pregnancy test. And yet the success rate of most IVF procedures is around 20-30%. It means that over three quarters of procedures fail. And at this point there is only silence…we are too scared to admit that it failed…we feel that we failed as women. It’s so painfully unfair, because it’s the nature that failed at some point and it’s nothing to do with us. And yet women keep asking the unanswered question…why it didn’t work? Could I do anything else to make it happen? We wish, there was something more we could do.
When the time is right
When we face another failed fertility procedure, it’s hard to carry on with our lives. It feels like the pain will never go away and we won’t be able to pick ourselves up. But the truth is, women are strong and they are capable of many great things. Of course, the support of the loving partner is very important, but we must know that our inner strength will help to go through the dark moments in our lives. All we need is time for those wounds to heal. Some women prefer to go through it on their own, some will need to talk it through. It’s so normal to feel the pain but we need to remember that once we manage to face it and work through it in the way that we feel is good for us, it will go away. And when the soul finds the peace and courage to make another attempt to conceive, that’s the right decision. It’s only right, when we feel it’s right. And when we feel we are ready, we try again to make that parental dream come true. Because although there is no guarantee that next IVF will bring the desired result, believing in it take us extra step closer.